For people having a problem with inconsitent results, I may have a solution -- it cleared-up my problems.

1) Close all open applications
2) Open iSync.
3) Go to Preferences and Reset Sync History.
4) Quit iSync.
5) Open iSync again -- this time you'll notice a message on the window about reconnecting to AddressBook and Calendar.
6) When iSync finishes (the message goes away), quit iSync.

Now, try your sync again. You can use either the circular arrows on the menu bar (that will sync AddressBook and iCal without loading iTunes), or you can bring up iTunes and sync there.

The process actaully updates files in your ~/Library/Application Support/SyncServices folder. Try it and see if it helps.

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