Instead of
dns-sd -P "name of server" _daap._tcp local 3690 localhost 127.0.0.1
I used
dns-sd -R "name of server" _daap._tcp. local 3690 localhost 127.0.0.1
Seems to work great. If I get excited I'll post a launchd script. :)

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This works!
One catch with it though:
I needed to allow remote hosts to connect to my ssh port forwards via the -g option(or GatewayPorts yes in ~/ssh/.config for that host)
ssh -gNf -L 3690:localhost:3689 remote-machine-with-itunes
dns-sd -R "remote itunes" _daap._tcp. local 3690 localhost 127.0.0.1 &


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I have a plist to run my dns-sd registration in the background. I created a ~/Library/LaunchAgents/com.apple.dnssd.plist file which looks like this:

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<!DOCTYPE plist PUBLIC "-//Apple//DTD PLIST 1.0//EN" "http://www.apple.com/DTDs/PropertyList-1.0.dtd">;
<plist version="1.0">
<dict>
<key>Label</key>
<string>com.apple.dnssdproxy</string>
<key>OnDemand</key>
<false/>
<key>ProgramArguments</key>
<array>
<string>/usr/bin/dns-sd</string>
<string>-R</string>
<string>Home iTunes</string>
<string>_daap._tcp.</string>
<string>local</string>
<string>3690</string>
<string>localhost</string>
<string>127.0.0.1</string>
</array>
</dict>
</plist>

Load it up with launchctl load ~/Library/LaunchAgents/com.apple.dnssd.plist

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